A Reminder

Life is short

People say that for a reason: because it's true. I'm out in California this week saying goodbye to my brother's girlfriend, Carrie, since it seems that lung cancer is finally getting the best of her. I think a lot of us have been in similar situations, and it just sucks. But because Carrie has been so awesome, strong and positive this entire time, I'm trying to be, too. Here's what I've been getting out of this week:

• Appreciate every second you do have. Carrie's decline would seem sudden (and it kind of is, since she and my brother were just hiking in high-altitude in Colorado pretty recently) if she hadn't outlived her original prognosis by more than 2 years. We keep talking about all of the awesome things she was able to do in that time. She got to travel more in those years than a lot of people ever do in their lives, and was able to see so many amazing things and places.

• Appreciate the time you get to spend with those you love. Carrie and I weren't super close before she got cancer, but that was a wake-up call for me to make more of an effort to get to know her because she was obviously important to my brother and had a limited amount of time left with us. I'm so thankful for this time because she went from just being "my brother's girlfriend" to the awesome older sister I never had. Likewise, my parents see her as a daughter because spending time with her suddenly felt like it was extremely important. These are things we should have realized on our own, but needed a reminder.

• Do what makes you happy. If you found out you only had x number of days, months or years to live, what would you do? Keep working a job that's not fulfilling? Live in an area you don't like? Spend your time with people who don't make you happy? No, of course not. So why should things be any different for those of us without a more concrete timeline? I realized a lot of this on my own recently, but talks I've had with Matt and Carrie this week just hammered it all home. What's the point if you're not living the life you want to live? Why continue to be unhappy?

• Tell people what they mean to you, and don't hold back. I don't think we can do this enough. As I was sitting with Carrie last night, I thought of things I wanted to say and for a minute thought "oh, I can just tell her this tomorrow." But what if I couldn't? As important as it is to be with those you love and who make you happy, it's just as important to make sure they always know that, too.

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